The face of a Pastor’s wife (metaphoric picture of their feelings)​

When your husband is called to pastor, you couldn’t be prouder of him. Everything feels right—the church is growing, the members are thriving, and life seems full of purpose.

But as the journey unfolds, things can become hectic. Your husband is pulled in a thousand directions—tending to the needs of the congregation, managing the ministry, and carrying the weight of leadership. And though you, as the First Lady, embrace everything that comes with his calling, there comes a moment when you begin to feel… invisible.

Pastors’ wives often find themselves feeling forgotten along the way—not because anyone intends to overlook them, but because the role itself is so demanding. With so much to do, it’s easy for the wife to blend into what begins to feel like “church business.”

Conversations with her husband start to revolve around the ministry, the members, and the church’s needs—leaving little room for their personal relationship, her emotions, and her identity as a woman.

As much as people like to believe that pastors and their wives have all the answers, let’s be honest—they don’t.I’ll say it plainly: Pastors and First Ladies are human first.They are men and women with real needs, real emotions, and real desires—just like everyone else.

So, I encourage every pastor and First Lady to take intentional time away. Go on a retreat. Reconnect. Remember that the pastor’s wife still needs to be seen, cherished, and nurtured—not just as a partner in ministry, but as a woman.

Pastors, make it a priority to set aside time for your wife, to meet her emotional and spiritual needs, and to step away from the constant demands of leadership. Every good leader must remember to care for themselves and their marriage, or the strain of mental and spiritual fatigue can cloud even the best intentions.

Take the time. Protect the bond. Because ministry begins at home.